Insanity Is Your Friend! Really!
by Nataku4
Summary: Well, it's 13 Ghosts...and it's humor...and...Aw, Hell...just read it. *My goodness! Chapter 4: Royce throws a tantrum! *
1. Bloopers!

**__**

Author's Notes: Before you ask, yes I am insane. Yes I have an unhealthy obsession with the Torn Prince…yes, you should most certainly run away….AN' GO READ Doped Out Bunny's 'Things 13 Ghosts Characters would never say or do'…that story kicks so much ass.

*~* Dennis' Death Scene *~*

Juggernaut: *Walks Toward Dennis*

Dennis: *Does His Little 'Aah! I'm so screwed' face*

Juggernaut: *Trips over A Fishing Line drawn across the floor. He bangs his head on the wall and lands on his butt*

First-Born Son: *Pulls Back Fishing Line and Scampers Away* Hee-Hee.

Dennis: I'M SAVED! *Remembers Hammer* I'M STILL SCREWED!

Director: Cut! *Shakes Head* Okay, who's the moron who let First-Born out of his cube_ and_ gave him sugar?

Juggernaut: @_@ Ooh…Stars…

---Take Two---

Juggernaut: *Walks toward Dennis'*

Dennis: *Does His Little 'Aah! I'm so screwed' face'

Everyone behind Juggernaut: *Burst Out Laughing*

Juggernaut: *Grits Teeth* Do I even want to know?

First Born Son: *Cackles & Hides A Sharpie behind his back*

::: On the Back of the Juggernauts shirt is a lovely scene of Bumblebees & Flowers done in black sharpie. On a rather disturbing note, the Bumbles Bees are made of bullet holes and gunpowder smears.:::

Director: *Still Snickering* Cut!

---Take Three---

Juggernaut: *Walks toward Dennis…However, his eyes are darting suspiciously from side to side, cringing at every noise and sudden movement, and almost skipping in an effort to avoid fishing lines…All in all, he has the scare factor of a kitten. *

Dennis: *Does his little 'Aah! I'm so screwed' face*

Juggernaut: *Is so worried, he completely forgets that Dennis is there and trips over him…. He probably could have recovered…if not for the liquid soap all over the floor behind our favorite little psychic. Predictably, Juggy-Kins slides and goes careening into one of the glass walls. Sadly, (But not unexpectedly) the glass breaks and he doesn't stop until three walls away. *

First Born & Torn Prince: *Snicker madly and run away, carrying a half-empty bottle of liquid soap. *

Torn Prince: *Crashes into a wall on his way out and falls on his perfect little bum. *

First Born: *Rolls Eyes and continues on his way* Dork.

Torn Prince: *Very Dazed* I heard…that…Ooh…Sparkles!

Juggernaut: *Half Dead…Lol, no pun intended. * Ow. 

Director: CUT! Good Gravy, can't you people do anything right?

*~* The Bathroom Scene *~*

Kathy: *Opens Shower Curtain…only to reveal…*

Jackal: *Waves Cheerfully*

Torn Prince: *Is unsuccessfully attempting to pick up a bar of soap. *

Kathy: *Stunned Silence*

Jackal: *Cheerfully* Hi! I thought that since I was so dirty, a bath might do me some good! However, I seem to be having trouble with making physical contact with the faucet. Help me out?

Kathy: *Still Speechless. Slowly turns her head to stare at The Torn Prince*

Torn Prince: *Is concentrating too hard on watching his hand go through the soap to notice her. *

Angry Princess: *Struggles Vehemently from Her place in the corner…where she is bound and gagged*

Director: CUT! My god, that's disturbing.

---Take Two---

Kathy: *Opens Shower Curtain…only to reveal*

Jackal: *Waves Cheerfully and Grins*

Torn Prince: Soooooaaaap…. *Watches hand go through it*

Angry Princess: *Struggles Vehemently from her place…under Jackal…still bound and gagged*

Hammer: S'up, ho?

Kathy: *Twitch*

Director: CUT! *Smacks Forehead* Tylenol…please.

---Take Three---

Kathy: *Cringes & Opens Shower Curtain*

Jackal: *Waves Cheerfully*

Torn Prince: Arg…*Continues To Be Entranced By The Soap*

Hammer: S'up, Bootylicious?

Angry Princess: *Struggles Vehemently from her place…on Hammer's lap…now wearing Jackals straightjacket*

Dennis: *Waves Cheerfully…From his place in The Torn Prince's Lap* (1)

Kathy: O_o;;

Director: Cut…

---Take Four---

Kathy: *Twitches & Opens the Shower Curtain*

Jackal: *Waves Cheerfully* Hello! ^___^

Torn Prince: *Pokes soap, and seems aggravated when his finger goes right through it. * Arg.

Hammer: Yo! S'up, foo?

Angry Princess: *Sulks*

Dennis: *Is Playing A Game Boy* C'mon, Pikachu! Use Thunderbolt!

First-Born: *Is boredly prodding his arrow….from his place on Hammer's shoulders.*

Dennis: YES! *Pumps fist enthusiastically. It goes through The Torn Prince, who can't feel it, but jumps from surprise. For some inane reason, he hit's the soap with his hand and DOESN'T GO THROUGH IT! *

Torn Prince: *In Awe* Quick, Do That Again, Dennis!

Dennis: *Elbows Torn Prince*

Torn Prince: *Pokes Soap*

Dennis: *Elbows Torn Prince*

Torn Prince: *Pokes Soap*

Dennis: *Elbows Torn Prince*

Torn Prince: *Pokes Soap*

Dennis: *Elbows Torn Prince*

Torn Prince: *Pokes Soap*

Dennis: *Elbows Torn Prince*

Torn Prince: *Pokes Soap*

Director: *Half In Tears* Cut!

Torn Prince: Mwaha. *Grabs Dennis And Runs Off* C'mon, we have experiments to do! *On his way out, he crashes headfirst into a glass wall. * Ow.

*~* The Junkyard Scene *~*

::: Cars are flying everywhere, and the bloodshed is just starting.:::

Juggernaut: *Hums A Cheerful tune and Snaps a man in half*

Torn-Prince: *OS* Oy! D'ya think you could keep it down? We're experimenting over here! (2)

::: Camera pans to just behind a mound of cars. The Torn Prince is standing next to a large table that is covered in various tools and bottles. He is wearing safety goggles and a lab coat. Nearby, Dennis is in a Hamster Wheel. He is shirtless (3) and has wires attached to various parts of his body (4).:::

Director: Cut! What the hell are you two _doing_?

Torn Prince: *Looks Smug* Discovering how I can use Dennis to allow me to…*Pauses for Dramatic Effect* TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Mwaha.

Dennis: *Flashes Peace Sign*

---Take Two---

::: Cars are flying everywhere, and the bloodshed is just starting.:::

Juggernaut: *Hums A Sickeningly Cheerful tune and Snaps a man in half*

:::BOOM!:::

::: Several Cars are seen to be doing perfectly executed 360's across the air.:::

Director: What the hell…?

::: As it turns out, the source of the BOOM!… Is none other than Princie & Dennis.:::

Torn Prince: *Is Covered In Soot, and is looking Rather Triumphant* 

Dennis: *Cough* Um, oopsie?

Director: *Rubs Temples* Now, just out of curiosity; was it really necessary TO BLOW UP MY SET?!

Torn Prince: Yes. Yes it was. *Cackles* For now, I have the secret to taking over the world! Mwaha! *Grabs Dennis and runs* Come, Dennis! To my Bedroom, for we have much to accomplish! (5) *Predictably crashes into a randomly placed wall on his way out*

Director: Good Lord. CUT!

*~* Dennis' Death Scene *~*

---Take 42---

Juggernaut: *Walks Toward Dennis*

Dennis: *Does His Little 'Aah! I'm so screwed' face*

::: Suddenly, the lights go out…:::

Hammer: Hoo Boy.

::: Strobe Lights Begin Flashing.:::

Dennis: Oh, man.

::: The Torn Prince, The Angry Princess, and The Bound Woman jump in Juggernauts path…and:::

Everyone: *Jaws Drop*

::: For, in a rather unnerving turn of events, all three are in Sailor Moon Getups. Yes, even Princie.:::

All: O_O

Torn Prince: In the name of the moon, I command you! Stop this mindless violence at once!

Angry Princess: I hate you all.

Bound Woman: *Has a Seizure…nothing out of the ordinary. *

Juggernaut: Umm…

Dennis: *Looking Odd* Um, I can see up your skirts… 

Torn Prince: *Shakes His Bootay*

Angry Princess: I hate you. Besides, it's not like it's something new. You've seen it all before.

Bound Woman: *Has A Seizure*

Director: *Bangs Head Against Wall*

Juggernaut: *Scratches Head In Confusion*

Torn Prince: In the name of love and justice, I SHALL SMITE YOU! *Does fancy…and very feminine poses…*

Dennis: *Is Drooling and Staring Up The 'Girls' (6) skirts…*

Arthur: *Is EXTREMELY disturbed* Stupid Necrophiliac…how did I get dragged into this?

Director: CUT!

*~* The 'Okay! Ghost! We Get It!' Scene *~*

Lawyer: You're Dennis Rafkin?

Arthur: Who's Dennis Rafkin?

Dennis: ME!

Director: *Shakes Head* Cut…

---Take Two---

Dennis: Don't laugh at me. Don't laugh.

Torn Prince: *OS* HA! HA! HA!

Dennis: I SAID DON'T LAUGH! *Pulls a Spork Outta Nowhere and Lunges for the Torn Prince*

Torn Prince: *Makes a run for it…and crashes headfirst into a glass wall. * Oh. Ouchie.

---Take Three---

Dennis: Ghosts goddamit, listen to me!

Arthur: I'm sorry, did you say something?

-----------------------*~*------------------------

HarHar. Just a little tidbit for all you Slash-Puppies out there to ponder. Oh, the implications. Don't we all wish? Not _those_ parts…Pervs…. Good lord, I'm perverted. And very feminine males. HarHar. ****

*Bows* And there, ladies & gents, was my first attempt at t 13 Ghosts fanfiction. ….Yeah, okay…it sucked.

But that never stopped me before, and it won't stop me now! Mwaha! I will prevail! Hee-Hee.

And yes, I do realize that Bloopers are banned. Fine… this is NOT just A Blooper fic. It will have a bunch of other slighty humorous elements in it…hopefully.

So! Read, Review, Flame…whatever! And I'll see you in the next chapter!


	2. Dennis sings!

Author's Note: EEK! I'm Baaaaaack! Lol, didja all miss me? *Long Pause* Aw, you know you love me. Heh. Well, here's the next installment…I know some of the syllables are a little off, but hey. I worked on it to the best off my ability! Jesus! What more do you want from me? Oh yeah, and there's a teensy bit more Dennis/Torn Prince hinting here, mmmkay?

------------------*~*-------------------

:::Dennis walks out onto a dark stage. Instantly, thousands of Fangirls…and boys…begin screaming.:::

Dennis: *Bows Head and Snaps fingers once*

:::A section of the stage lights up, revealing The Torn Prince on Drums.:::

Dennis: *Snaps fingers again*

:::Another section lights up, revealing The First Born Son on a Keyboard. It should be noted that he is standing on several phonebooks in order to see over the instrument.:::

Dennis: *Snaps fingers…again.*

:::GASP! You guessed it. Another section of the stage lights up, revealing The Angry Princess on Guitar.:::

Dennis: *Snaps his fingers for the final time (Thank God) and the rest of the stage lights up.*

:::Fan-People scream loud enough to make peoples ears bleed.:::

Ghosts: *Start Playing*

Dennis: *Lifts Microphone to mouth and starts singing to the tune of 'One Week' By The Barenaked Ladies* 

__

It's been one week since I up and died,  
Defending Arthur and giving myself pride.  
Five days since I bought The Farm,

When Ghetto Hammer decided to break my arm. 

Three days since The Juggernaut,   
Beat the crap outta me, and snapped my back in two.  
Last week, I had a nice heartbeat,   
But the 13th Ghost is still there to confuse you.

:::Fangirls Are Still Screaming. From Backstage, The Hammer & Juggernaut flash Peace signs to the crowd. Dennis flips the two off and continues the song…:::_   
  
_Dennis: _Hold it now and let me tell you,_

About my new crew.  
You'll think you're walkin' in a Graveyard.  
I give props to the Torn Prince, tho' he's got a case of skin-mince,

Torn Prince: *Flashes Peace Sign to the crowd. Unfortunately, as Drumming requires two hands, he drops one of his drumsticks…Predictably, it rolls across the stage…where the Angry Princess slides on it.*

Angry Princess: *Goes Stumbling into The First Born Son, who topples off his mountain of Yellow Pages and into the crowd.*

Random Fangirl # 1: EEEK! *Lifts up arm to reveal First Born with his arrow jammed in her misused appendage.*

First Born Son: Sorry!

__

  
Dennis: *Ignores the Oncoming Destruction* 

_I like the Princess, cause I'm a guy so it's obvious._

Angry Princess: *Drags herself off the ground and prepares to go slap Dennis…Unfortunately, in her fury she fails to notice The Torn Prince as he goes charging past her looking for his lost drumstick. He knocks her forward and into the Keyboard.*

Random Fangirl # 1: *Flails around and succeeds in dislodging the First Born Son. Unfortunately, he goes sailing farther back into the crowed and…*

Random Fangirl # 2: ##$&)@&@(~!!!

First Born: Ooh, oops, my bad!

Angry Princess: *Decides Dennis can wait and picks herself off the ground to find the Torn Prince and maybe bash him over the head with her Guitar…or something equally violent and unnecessary.*

Dennis: *Trying To Keep Singing*

__

Hot like The Jackal, whose got bad teeth.  
Huge Ghetto Hammer,  
Because I'm all about dissin' him.  
The Juggernaut's got mad height  
You try to talk to, Jean K, she'll stab you with her IV   
Bound Woman really needs a neck brace,  
Get Great Child A goddamn napkin,  
Someone tell Pilgrimess that Wicca is not a sin.  
Gotta find his head, that poor Torso,  
Fist-Born's got a long-ass arrow,  
And the Dire Mother, has some Mommy-Son issues.  


Fangirl # 26: *Goes down with the First Born Sticking to the back of her head*

Angry Princess: *Screaming Various Obscenities at the Torn Prince, who is cradling his recently found Drumstick to his chest and looking happy*

Random Fangirl # 37: *Screaming Bloody murder, as The First Born now has his face squished between her breasts.*

First Born: *Muffled* Good Grief.

Angry Princess: *Has stalked her way across the stage and is preparing to bash The Torn Princes Head in with her guitar. She raises it above her head and…*

Torn Prince: *Smiles Happily and Skips back to his Drumset.*

Angry Princess: *…brings it down a split-second too late. She misses her target, and her momentum sends her sailing into the crowd.*

Random Fan-Person: *Thinks She wants to Body Surf and sends her along*

Dennis: *Squeezing his eyes shut and praying*

__

How can I help it if I think it's funny that I'm dead,  
It's real ironic when it's all done and said,  
I was the kind of guy that didn't have friends,  
But now that I'm dead, I've got Twelve of 'em.   
I have a tendency to think I'm hot when I'm not,  
My fangirls still keep telling me to get rid of my shirt…

Angry Princess: *Is Scowling Darkly and has her arms crossed as she is passed from person to person.*

First Born: *Gives a little wave as he passes over her only to impale someone else a split-second later.*

Dennis: *Notices he has his drums back and starts to get a little more confident.*

__

It's been one week since my ass was kicked,  
Cyrus built the Hell Machine and got diced up,   
Five days since I lost my pulse,  
I should just hauled my ass Outta here.  
It's been a few days since Arthur left,  
He took his kids and burned rubber down the road to home.  
I didn't like him anyway.  
At least the 13th Ghost is still there to confuse you…

Sometimes it's tough, being dead don't ya know,  
I feel like walkin' through walls and moanin' 'Boo'   
It's a horror movie with no lights on,  
'Cept I'm the hero,  
And I doubt I'll get the hot girl.  
Friggin' Pig Latin is like a mantra,  
First Born throws tantrums,   
Like Princie, guaranteed to satisfy.

:::A faint 'DO NOT!' is heard from the crowd before the sound of an arrow piercing flesh and another dying scream are also heard:::

Angry Princess: *Manages to haul herself back onstage looking furious and haggard.*_  
  
_Dennis: *Back To Full Steam* 

__

Hey, I'm a psychic like Miss Cleo  
Well, Except that I'm for real,  
And I really don't send Spam mail to you.  
I used to touch peeps and take pain trips,  
Dunno if I still do, heh maybe.   
I can't really test it because everyone here's dead. 

Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon  
Cause the Torn Prince has got the mad Sailor Fuku*  
He makes me think the wrong thing

Torn Prince: *Whispering* He cares! *Goes into a dead faint…Heheh, get it? Ain't I hilarious?*

:::Predictably, he faints into the drums, scattering them.:::

Angry Princess: *Is once again marching angrily across the stage…and is once again deterred when a drum rolls into her and off into the now-panicked and half dead crowd.*

Dennis: *Hears the Crash of The Drums and winces*

__

How can I help it if I think it's funny that I'm dead, 

Ironic when it's all done and said,  
I was the kind of guy that didn't have any friends,  
But now that I'm dead, I've got Twelve of 'em.  
I have a tendency to think I'm hot when I'm not,  
My fangirls still keep telling me to lose my shirt…

First Born: *Topples Random Fangirl # 125*

Angry Princess: *Is practically exploding with anger. She stomps across the stage and stops in front of the comatose Torn Prince* _  
  
_Dennis: *Notices what's going on out of the corner of his eye and starts to panic*

__

It's been one week since I bit the dust,  
I suppose I can deal if I really must,  
Five days since I noticed that, maybe  
With Torn Prince Here I might not be so very sad.  
Few days since I lost my life,  
Hell, sure it hurt, holy cheese, but what could I do?  
Yesterday I thought 'It's not so bad',  
Cause there's still the 13Th Ghost there to confuse you…

Angry Princess: *Begins strangling the unconscious Torn Prince and cackling maniacally*

First Born: *Takes down 6 more fan-people*_  
_

Dennis: *By now, just wants to get the song over with!*

__

But The 13th Ghost is still there to confuse you…  
But The 13th Ghost is still there to confuse you…  


C'mon peeps, It's just there to confuse you.

First Born: *Dislodges himself from Random Fangirl # 374 and clambers back on stage. He takes a quick bow, and leaves, trailing various organs and dripping blood across the stage.*

Dennis: *Bows quickly and runs offstage as fast as he can*

Angry Princess: *Realizes that she broke a nail abusing Torn Prince and huffs indignantly before walking offstage*

Torn Prince: *Wakes Up* *Sighs Happily* He cares!

-----------*~*----------

*- A Sailor Fuku is just a fancy-shmancy way of saying a Sailor Moon Outfit.

And now, to those who reviewed!

Redrose2310: Oooh…do you really think I could pull that off? I mean, Slash on it's own is controversial, but Ghost-Slash? Hmmm…would it be considered Necrophilia if both parties are dead? Hmm…well, if you think I could do it, then by-golly I'll do my best! Lol, thanks for reviewing and feeding my ego.

Doped Out Bunny: *Bows* You're welcome, lol. I just thought people should read you're fic 'cause: A) It kicks more ass then I can say, and B) It actually inspired this fic…*Sheepish Grin* Anywho…you really thought it was funny? *Eyes well up with tears* I'm so happy! Lol, and I love you too…in a strictly platonic and completely heterosexual way…Lol.

Shadowcat832: =) Geez, don't laugh so much! You'll bust a gut, and I don't have the money to pay your Hospital Bills! Lol, I'm glad you liked this…after all, I live to serve!

Lol, I'd better wrap this up. Sorry for all you who were hoping for more bloopers…I thought if I put two Blooper chappies in a row, FF.Net would delete my account again. Lol, no worries tho' there'll be more! I promise! 

Coming up next: Whose Line Is It Anyway? Featuring our favorite characters!

And always remember kiddies…Torn Prince All.  



	3. Ah! More Bloopers!

Author's Note: Greetings! And welcome to the next chapter! If you're not mentally scarred yet, I commend you. You lasted longer then my Cat! Whoo! Go you! *Sighs* I don't really think this is as funny as the last two chapters so…yeah. Okay. I ran out of stuff to say. Oh poo.

Anyway! To my reviewers:

Redrose2310: Lol, you asked for it! I now have a Plot-Puppy in my head scurrying around and demanding a Royce/Dennis fic. Lol, so, I guess you can expect it to appear soon. That is, unless Skool drags me down into a hellish pit of despair and anguish. I guess we'll see, right?

Pilar Sama aka Gecko: OMG, you liked the Shower scene too? Lol, that was my favorite. And I'm soooo sorry for not having the Whose Line Chapter up. I promise I'll try to make it funny and post it just for you, okay? Oh, and…I beg to differ. Torn Prince All. *Sticks Out Tongue*  


Doped Out Bunny: *Bows* Glad you liked! Sorry I had to get off IM so fast, but as it is, Technically I'm not supposed to be online at all…(CURSE YOU BAD TEST GRADE! ARG!) Lol, and sorry this isn't the 'Attack Of Maggie' Chapter…I started that and it's already like, 4,000 words…so it's probably gonna take a while. BTW, did you by any chance save a copy of our conversation? There was some stuff I wanted to keep on reference…

Shadowcat832: Yes. We love Princie! And his ditziness is an added bonus, eh? Lol, and I promise, Jackal will have his moment in the spotlight!

Magdalena: Lol, I do kick ass, don't I? Ack. There it goes again. Stupid ego. You're too kind! Now it's way too large for me to contain! Arg! Lol, thanks for the review tho'…even it did unleash my ego upon the world.

And now, on with the chapter…

**__**

More Thir13en Ghosts Bloopers!

*~* The 'OMG! Dennis & The Torn Prince are trapped in a 9x9 feet enclosure together!' Scene. *~*

Torn Prince: *Swings His Bat around all spiffy-like. *

Dennis: *Makes his weird little 'Eeeeinghhed' sound*

Maggie: OH MAH GAWD! HEY DENNIS THERE"S A GHOST IN THERE!

Dennis: Okay, first off: Duh, of course there's a ghost. Second: That wasn't your line.

Maggie: GOOD LORD! IT'S A GHOST!

Torn Prince: *Leaning On his Bat* *Sarcastic* Gee, you wanna slow down there on the brilliant observations, Einstein? The rest of us can't keep up.

Maggie: MAH GAWD! IT TALKED! SOMEONE HELP! DENNIS IS TRAPPED WITH A GHOST!

Director: *Rubs Temples in Frustration* Maggie, that's in the script. He's supposed to be trapped in there.

Maggie: Oh. Really?

Director: *Nods* Yep.

Maggie: Oh. Okay.

Director: *Sighs* Cut.

---Take Two---

Dennis: *Makes his weird little 'Eeeeinghhed' sound*

Maggie: …Glasses! *Puts them on*

:::Silence:::  
Dennis: Well? 

Maggie: Uh, I don't see no ghost.

Torn Prince: *Drops Down From Ceiling behind Maggie* BOO!

Maggie: EEK! *Jumps a mile*

Torn Prince: *Snickers*

Maggie: Why you…*Lunges*

Torn Prince: *Runs*

Maggie: *Gives Chase*

Torn Prince: *Crashes Into A Wall* Ouch.

Dennis: Um, hello?

:::It seems everyone has forgotten about him, in their rush to make sure Maggie does not injure Royce:::

Dennis: *Whistles* They'll remember me eventually.

*Six Hours Later*

:::Janitor Walks By:::

Dennis: *Snore*

Janitor: *Stares* 

Dennis: *Wakes Up* Wha? Hey! 

Janitor: *Waves*

Dennis: Let me outta here!

Janitor: *Does So*

Dennis: *Looking Murderous* When I get a hold of them…

*~* The Lawyers Death Scene *~*

Ben: *Backs away slowly* Uh, Hey…about earlier…I was just joking…

Angry Princess: *Looks evil*

Ben: *Realizes the Walls about to slice him in half and jumps backwards really fast*

:::The wall shuts, trapping The Angry Princess on the other side:::

Ben: BOOYAH!

Director: Cut!

---Take Two---

Ben: *Backs away slowly* Uh, Hey…about earlier…I was just joking…

Angry Princess: *Looks evil*

Ben: *Sighs, and gets ready to step backwards*

Dennis: AIEEEEYAYAYAYAYAY! *Swings down on a rope-vine ala Tarzan. He grabs the money from Ben and swings away…unfortunately, the wall shuts on the rope, cutting it. Dennis' momentum carries him straight through the glass and into The Torn Princes' cube.*

Dennis: *Dazed* Well, at least I've got my money…*Smiles*

Royce: *Grabs Money* Nope. I've got your money. *Walks away whistling*

Dennis: *Trying To Stand but failing miserably* Hey! Come back here, dead-boy!

Royce: *Walks Right Past Ben & The Angry Princess, and gives them a little wave*

Ben: O_O *Pounds on the glass* HEY! WHERE THE #*($&# DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING WITH MY MONEY!?

Angry Princess: *Raises Knife*

Ben: *Shoves her into the wall to get past her* Not now, I've gotta get my money back! 

Angry Princess: X_X

Dennis: *Is clearheaded again* *Stands Up* Stupid Princie…when I get my hands on him! *Stalks Off*

Director: Cut!

:::Nobody Listens:::

***Elsewhere in the House***

Torn Prince: *Walks past Cyrus, still whistling.*

Cyrus: *Sees Money* OI! WTF!? Come back here! *Gives Chase*

Torn Prince: Tch, not likely. *Runs Away*

:::And because Cyrus is a crusty old man, and Royce is perfect, he eventually loses The Crusty One:::

***The Main Room, a short time later***

:::Ben, Cyrus, and Dennis run in from three different directions, and predictably crash into each other. A scuffle ensues.::::

Ben: *Ends up sitting on Cyrus, with Dennis in a headlock*

Dennis: *Ends Up on the floor in a headlock with his hands around Ben's neck*

Cyrus: *Is Smooshed* X_x

Dennis: Arg. This isn't getting us anywhere!

Ben: You're right. We need the get the money first, and _then_ we can beat the shit outta each other.

Cyrus: x_X

Ben: Right. We'll split up, bring the money back here, and then fight over it; agreed?

Dennis: Agreed. You look on this floor, and I'll look upstairs.

Ben: What about the basement?

:::They look at each other:::

Both: Cyrus.

Dennis: Alrighty then, let's move out.

:::They do so:::

Cyrus: X_X

***Meanwhile, in the 'Unbelievable Bathroom'***

Royce: *Humming Cheerfully and counting the money*

***On the main floor***

Ben: Stupid Ghost…who does he think he is, taking_ my_ money! *Stops, because he thinks he hears something*

Arthur: Hey! It's Mr. Moss! *Waves* I was looking all over for you!

Ben: Not now, you bum! I've gotta find that stupid Ghost and get my money back!

Arthur: *Slightly offended, but more confused then anything* Ghost? 

Ben: Yeah, Ghost. The stupid James Dean Wannabe took my paycheck.

Arthur: O_o *Is very disturbed* Um, are you feeling all right, Mr. Moss?

Ben: Of course I am. But I'll be feeling better once I find that little punk and get my money back!

Arthur: Riiiiiiight. Okay. Maybe you should go outside, I think you need some fresh air…

Ben: *Grabs Arthur's Collar and lifts him in the air* DID YOU SEE HIM OUT THERE!? IS THAT WHERE THE LITTLE SNOT-GOBLIN IS HIDING!?

Arthur: N-no! I don't know what you're talking about!

Ben: *Puts Him down* Hmmm…whatever. *Walks Off To Continue His Search*

Arthur: *Is too busy staring after him, so he doesn't notice the Jackal until it's too late* AIEEEE!

Jackal: *Cackles*

*** In The Main Room ***

Cyrus: *Groggily* Curses. I'll never get my money now…*Realization Dawns* Unless…*Cackles and heads for the basement*

*** On the Second Floor ***

Dennis: *Calling* PRINCIE! OH, PRINCIE! *Sighs* Stupid jerk. I'll never find him this way.

:::He sits down:::

Dennis: *Suddenly has an Idea and stands up again* OI! PRINCIE! IF YOU DON'T SHOW YOURSELF, THEN YOU WON'T BE GETTING ANY FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH!

*** In the 'Unbelievable Bathroom' ***

Royce: _;; *Sighs* Damn.

:::He still doesn't get up.:::

*** Back To Dennis ***

Dennis: *Waits*

***In The Basement***

Cyrus: KALINA!

Kalina: *Appears out of nowhere…as she is so prone to doing.* Yes, my liege?

Cyrus: Shut up and gimme the spells!

Kalina: O_O *Hands him the spells* You-You're not mad, are you?

Cyrus: Nope. Course not.

Kalina: Phew. *Sigh Of Relief*

Cyrus: Just Kidding. Actually, I'm so mad I'm going to kill you now. Mwaha.

Kalina: WHAT!?

Cyrus: *Rolls Eyes and shoves her into the Ocu…Oculariat…Infernity…Aw, hell. The Big Spinney Thing of Doom.*

Kalina: EEK! *Dies. Too bad. Sucks to be her.*

Cyrus: Eh, she was too clingy anyway. *Puts Spells into machine-player thingy*

:::He turns the speakers on and kicks back.:::

Cyrus: :-p I'll have my money back in no time!

*** In the 'Unbelievable Bathroom' ***

Royce: *Is wearing gigantic headphones and has Linkin Park blaring loud enough to wake the dead…Oh, will these horrible puns never cease?*

*** Back To Dennis ***

Dennis: *Waits*

*** Back to Cyrus ***

Cyrus: *Waits*

*** On the Main Floor ***

Ben: *Pouts* I've looked everywhere, and I still can't find that stupid Happy Days reject! Grrrr…*Thinks* Wait a sec…he must be upstairs! AHA!

::: He runs in the general direction of the stairs, completely ignoring the bloody pile of pulp on the floor that was once Arthur.:::

Angry Princess: *Lunges Out Of Nowhere* AIEE! I've got you now!

Ben: *Shoves her into a wall…again* I already told you…later! I don't have time for you now! 

Angry Princess: X_X

Ben: *Runs Upstairs*

*** Back To Dennis ***

Dennis: *Waits*

*** Back to Cyrus ***

Cyrus: *Waits*

Kalina: *Is still dead*

*** Back to the Director! ***

Director: *Sobbing into the shoulder of his cameraman* WHY!? WHY WON'T THEY CUT!?

Cameraman: *Pats him on the back* There, There. It's Okay.

*** Back To Ben! ***

Ben: *Is roaming the halls searching for Royce* I'll find you, you stupid skin-minced moron…Grrr…

:::Suddenly! He hears 'Crawling' blaring out from the 'Unbelievable Bathroom':::

Ben: Mwaha. I've got you now!

:::He runs into the bathroom, only to reveal…:::

First-Born: *Mouth Full of Toothpaste* Wha?

Ben: *Sees the Walkman blaring music on the floor, but nothing else* Uh…

First-Born: Ooh 'ou 'ind? (Translation: Do you mind? This translation has been brought to you by: 'Reading Rainbow'. Omar…we will miss you.)

Ben: Oops. Sorry. *Turns to leave, but pauses* Hey, have you seen The Torn Prince?

First-Born: *Shakes Head*

Ben: Ah. Okay. I'll just be going then. 

First-Born: *Nods*

Ben: Laters. *Leaves*

Torn Prince: *Peeks out from behind Shower Curtain* Is he gone?

First-Born: *Spits out toothpaste and wipes his mouth with his sleeve* Yup.

Torn Prince: Great. *Takes out a wad of bills and hands it to First-Born* Thanks. *Pats him on the head*

First-Born: Anytime.

Torn Prince: *Leaves*

First-Born: *Picks up Walkman and listens* Hmmm…not bad.

*** Back To Cyrus ***

Cyrus: *Snore*

*** Back to Dennis! ***

Dennis: Yup. Anyyyytime now. He'll be here.

Torn Prince: *Sprints By* Hey, Dennis!

Dennis: Huh? What? Hey! Get back here, you! *Gives chase*

Torn Prince: *Is already to the stairs* Laters, Denny!

*** Back to the Director ***

Director: *Staring Blankly Into Space*

Cameraman, Soundman…etc: *Playing Twister*

Producer: Right foot yellow!

Cameraman: *Looks at Scriptwriter* Nice one!

*** Back to Arthur! ***

Arthur: *Bleeds*

*** Back to…well, go to for the first time, Bobby! ***

:::Bobby is having a Tea Party with Juggernaut & Hammer:::

Juggernaut: More crumpets, Hammer?

Hammer: Sure, son. Pass dem suckers ova here!

Bobby: *Sips his tea*

*** Now let's visit Kathy! ***

:::Kathy is having a slumber party with Jackal & Bound Woman.:::

Kathy: *Painting Bound Woman's toenails* And then I was all like, "You whore!"

Jackal: *Lying On his Stomach on the bed, flipping idly through a copy of Teen Beat* OMG, No way!

Kathy: Like, yes way!

Bound Woman: Then what did she say?

Kathy: Well, then Lisa was all like, "Bitch!" And then she, like, slapped me!

Jackal: *Gasps* Like, no!

Kathy: Oh yeah. So I was like, "Screw You!" And I just, like slapped her back!

Bound Woman: You go girl!

*** Er, that was interesting! Now back to Ben! ***

Ben: *Has given up on ever getting his money* I hate my life.

:::Suddenly, Royce goes running by, with Dennis close on his heels.:::

Royce: Hi, Ben! *Keeps Running*

Dennis: Haha! The money's mine, Suit! *Also keeps running*

Ben: WHA!? *Gives chase*

(Let's just say, to make a long story short, they end up in the main room…and the Spinney Thing Of Doom is goin' full force! Don't ask how. Just go along with it, mmkay?)

Royce: *Backs Away from Ben & Dennis, clutching the bag of money to his chest*

Cyrus: *Charges into the main room* Aha!

All: *Look at Cyrus with mild interest*

Ben: Took you long enough, O' Crusty One.

Cyrus: Silence, fool.

Ben: *Raises Eyebrows but doesn't say anything*

Cyrus: *Turns To Royce* Now then…how about giving that money to your dear Uncle Cyrus?

Royce: *Shakes Head and backs closer to the edge of the Spinney Thing Of Doom! Oh No!*

Cyrus: *Growls* Why you…*Lunges*

::: He hits Princie full force and they go toppling towards the edge! AHHH!:::  


Ben: MY MONEY! *Lunges*

Dennis: MY BOY-TOY! *Lunges*

:::Thankfully, Dennis grabs onto Princie's ankle and saves him from becoming the next Torso. Phew. Unfortunately, (Or, fortunately, depending on whether you like Cyrus and/or Mr. Moss or not.) Ben & Cyrus _do _become the next Torsos. Ouch.:::

Princie & Dennis: *Shield themselves from an onslaught of icky body parts. Eew.*

:::But of course, not even Mr. Satan himself could handle The Crusty One _and_ The Sleazy One. Predictably, the Spinney Thing Of Doom short-circuits; Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. The house goes boom; blah, blah, blah. You know what happens…:::

*** After The Dust Clears ***

Royce: *Stunned Silence*

Dennis: *Even More Stunned Silence*

::: All is silent. Suddenly, Linkin Park is heard.:::

Royce: ???

Dennis: ???  


:::It's First Born! Yay! He comes head banging out into the main room dressed in Sk8ter clothes…(Ya know, baggy jeans, baggy T-shirt, spiked collars…the whole shebang.) …and holding a sign that says 'The End'. He then proceeds to 'Punk' his way out of the room.:::

Royce: o_O

Dennis: O_o 

Director: *Comes Upstairs* Good Lord.

Rest Of Crew: *Jaws Drop*

Director: *Starts sobbing again* C-CUT! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CUT!

*~* The End *~*

Wowies. There ya go folks, the longest Blooper I've ever written. *Bows* 

Again, I apologize if it's not as funny as you were expecting…I'M SORRY!

THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE BETTER! I PROMISE!

*Gets down on knees* Please forgive me!

*Cough* Anywho, I can't really say what will be in the next chappie…because I haven't started it yet!

So, until then…always remember:

Torn Prince All.


	4. When will the insanity end?

Author's Notes: Greetings all you people out there in reader land! And welcome to the next chapter in this little romp of insanity…

To My Reviewers:

rosered2310: AUGH! So it was noticeably less funny? Arg. *Begins To Get Slightly Paranoid* Hmmm…so you liked Punk First-Born? Lol, don't worry. Once they're changed in this fic, they're changed for good! Mwaha.

Doped Out Bunny: WAI! *Hugs* You saved the Conversation! I love you! …In a strictly platonic and completely heterosexual way. Yes. Anyway! D'ya think you could e-mail me a copy? Like I said, I'd like to keep some of it on reference.

Shadowcat832: *Bows* Yes, I am bold. And I am also daring! Mwaha. That's right kiddies, come to me when you want to see something outrageous and appalling! WHOOHOO! Being outside the box is fun, isn't it? Lol, glad you liked the chappie, disturbing-ness and all.

Pilar Sama Aka Gecko: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I remember when that happened to me a couple of years ago, and I think I mentally scarred my stepsister for life! (Lol, but I won't go into the sordid details…Mwaha.) But YAY! I'm so happy my story cheered you up. That's one of the reasons I keep on writing…*Sniffle* Aw, I'm getting' all choked up! Lol, ya know, you're the first person to tell me that you liked the puns…I thought everyone hated them! *Hugs* *Eyes get big* Wow, I like that idea…I like it a lot…In fact…it's gonna be coming up soon! Heh-heh. I 'spect it'll be the next chappie or the one after…Sound good? Question: Why would a suggestion be the last thing I need? I luv those things! Keep 'em coming! Everyone! ('Cause if ya do, this fic may well be never-ending!) So, anyway. I hope you feel better about your fics. ;_; *Hugs*

Bumblebee-Starscream: WHOO! I ROCK! *Does Happy Dance* *Bows* Glad you liked!

Cgmangotiger: BAH! Lies! They both belong to me! ME I TELL YOU! ALL MINE! *Froths at the Mouth* *Chants* Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! *Pants heavily* However, I thought if I made them both _my_ love puppies, it would be abusing my power as an Authoress far too much…and it would make people mad! Ahhh! So, them together is the next best thing, eh?

OH! And ya know what else I noticed? I forgot a Disclaimer! Silly me…

Disclaimer: Hah! Me own Thir13en Ghosts? It is to laugh. If I owned it, do you really think you would be reading this right now? Nope, 'cause you woulda seen it in the movie. Mwaha.

…Aight, now that we're a good 600 words into the fic, I think it's a good time to start…

OH! One more thing. The next 'Song & Dance Thingy' Will have a song that I'm pretty sure none of you has ever heard of before. It's called 'Freckles' and it's the opening theme for Rurouni Kenshin.

*Clears Throat* No worries though! If you're interested, I can send you the song: It's not long, (Maybe 2 min.) and in MP3 format. And it is in English, for those of you who care. (C'mon, did you honestly think I could do A Parody of a song in Japanese? Puh-lease. I can barely do it to songs in English!)

Okay, now we can start.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

::: We're back to the Dark Stage. The Audience is even larger then last time, although it should be noted that they're all wearing helmets and Arrow-resistant armor. Wonder why?:::

Audience: *Coughs and murmurs quietly*

:::Suddenly! In a bright flash of Pyrotechnics, the entire stage lights up in a burst of Blue Flames!:::

Audience Members: *In Awe* Ooh. Ahh.

Pyromaniacs: *_* *Have Reached Nirvana*

::: Of course, First-Born is back on Keyboard! However, he looks a little different then the last time we saw him. He is of course, wearing his Punk Clothes, Sunglasses and Gigantic Headphones. Also, much to the relief of the Audience, now has his Arrow encased in a block of Cement! :::

Audience: *Sigh in Relief…some even remove their helmets…*

::: And, believe it or not, The Angry Princess is back for another round as well. Of course, she doesn't look happy, but then again, does she ever? It should also be noted, that she is hiding what looks suspiciously like a gun behind her back…:::

Audience Members: *Are becoming Curious* 

::: The Hammer is on Drums this Time! He is in Ghetto-Wear, of course.:::

Audience Members: *Want To Get the Stupid Show Started*

::: And the reason that Hammer is on Drums tonight, Is because Royce is the main attraction! (Well, when is he not when I'm involved? But you know what I mean…) Woo! He is standing center stage, with a microphone!:::

Audience Members: *Instantly go into 'Rabid Fangirl/Boy; I Gotta Get Me Some O' That!' mode. * 

Torn Prince: *Begins in A Breathy Whisper, To the Tune of 'Irresistible' By Jessica Simpson* 

__

You know, I don't know what it is,  
But everything about me is so irresistible…

Dennis: *Backstage* *Chokes On His Coffee and spits it all over Juggernaut*

Juggernaut: *Shuts his eyes and flicks Coffee and Dennis-Spit off his face…he is obviously counting to Ten.*

Dennis: *Looks Horrified and Runs To the edge of the Curtain, where Jackal is standing, about to eat a cookie.*  
  
Royce: *Workin' The Crowd! Wah-Hoo!*

__

Don't try and pretend like I'm not your type,  
_Hah! Too bad you can't fight it,_

__

I make you weak with desire,

Some peeps might diss me and go for Dennis,   
Or maybe even Jackal.

But when I make my cute puppy face,  
_You know you just can't say no._

Jackal: *Lowers His Cookie* Damn straight they go for me.

Dennis: *Notices the Gun in Dana's hand and the Evil, Vengeful look of Unnecessary Violence she's giving Royce…*

Royce: *Oblivious to the imminent Danger…but then again, he's always oblivious…(*Drools*)*

__

See, I'm irresistible,  
_But you still can't have me._   
_I'm unavailable,_  
_But you still want me._  
_I can't be physical._  
_I'm just too spiritual,_  
_My ways are powerful,_   
_And irresistible to all._

:::He pulls off a set off dance moves that would give Michael Jackson a Coronary and make N'Sync hang their heads in shame.:::

A Couple Hundred Random Fangirls: *Faint from Blissful Brain Overload*

Angry Princess: *Cackles and Raises the Gun*

Dennis: *Panics and grabs the first thing he sees…which is Jackal's cookie. He runs onstage with it and toward the Angry Princess*

Angry Princess: *Has Eyes closed, for she is preparing to enjoy the oncoming violence.*

Dennis: *Swaps the Gun with the Cookie* 

Jackal: COME BACK WITH MY COOKIE, YOU HEATHEN! *Runs Onstage*

Dennis: *Realizes he's holding a gun, and yelps; tossing it into the crowd*

Angry Princess: *Pulls 'Trigger'. Predictably, nothing happens*

Jackal: *Sees that Dennis is cookie-free, and is frantically searching for his lost treat.*

Angry Princess: *Opens Eyes* *Stunned Silence*

Jackal: *Sees his beloved cookie in Dana's hands.* *Gasps*

Royce: *Starting To Get Mad because the others were ruining 'his' song!*

__

Hey, I'm a little angel and I'm always right!  
_What's there not to love about me?_  
_Oh, you can call me a godless tramp,_  
_But I know you're just jealous of my skills!_  
_Don't dare to try and resist me!_  
_Against me it's just a battle of wills!_  
_You know you just can't say no!_

Jackal: *Bounds across the Stage towards Dana*

Dana: *Still Utterly Confused* Huh-Wha?…but….the…gun and…duh, Cookie?

Cookie: *Drops some crumbs on the ground*

Dennis: *Backing Away Slowly* Yes, very good Dana. That is a Cookie…

First Born: *Non-chalantly walks up to Dana and takes the cookie. He hums a little tune and walks back to his keyboard*

Jackal: *Was leaping for Dana, but somehow manages to turn around in midair so fast he gives himself whiplash and _still_ lands on his feet*

Random Fan-Person # 234: *Faints as Royce pulls off another amazing stunt*

Royce: *Rather enjoying the effect he's having on those poor fanwhor-I mean, Fan_girls_*

__

See, I'm irresistible,  
But you still can't have me.

__

I'm unavailable,  
But you still want me.   
_I can't get physical,_  
_I'm just too spiritual.  
My ways are powerful,  
And irresistible to all_

Jackal: *Advancing On First Born Menacingly* You stole the cookie!

First Born: *Mouth full of Cookie-Goodness* Who me? 

Jackal: Yes you!

First Born: *Swallows* Couldn't be!

Jackal: Then who?

First Born: *Shrugs* Okay, I stole it.

Jackal: *Growls* *Goes To tackle First-Born*

First Born: Crap. *Runs, but trips over his baggy jeans, and, you guessed it! Goes sailing into the crowd! *

Royce: *Thinking to himself: "Why, oh why, must I suffer so?"*

__

When you people try to get close to me,  
_I remember the things you said…_  
_My Bat's so not that wussy!_  
_Keep it up and I won't even look at you!_  
_Yeah, that's right! Apologize!_

Audience: We're Sorry Royce! *Freeze as a scream of Pain & Surprise is heard, followed by a dull thud*

::: Predictably, First Born is once again inflicting pain on Random People. Damn the little tyke. This time, rather then impaling people, however, he's knocking them unconscious with his arr-er, Cement Block. :::

Angry Princess: *Sits down and cries*

Dennis: *Quietly Exits*

Royce: *Half-Heartedly tries to recapture his audience, but failing miserably…Because the ones that haven't been rendered unconscious yet, (By a mixture of First-Born and Royce's ditzy-spiffy-ness…) are stampeding around in a blind panic* 

__

See, I'm irresistible,  
_But you still can't have me._  
_I'm unavailable_,  
_But you still want me._  
_(Dennis: And you can't have him!)_  
_I can't get physical,  
I'm just too spiritual.  
My ways are powerful,  
And irresistible to all._

Jackal: *Sits down and cries right next to Dana*

Angry Princess: *Wails* My dignity!

Jackal: *Wails* My cookie!

Royce: *Stamps his foot, crosses his arms and pouts* My song!

First Born: *Sighs as he is jostled by the stampede, thus breaking many bones and causing much chaos. *

Hammer: *Snore* Shu'p foo' *Snore*

Random Fan-Girl 934: *Screams in Agony*

First Born: *Wincing* Sorry! *Is stepped on* Ow! *Is Sat on* Ah! *Is trampled* @_@

Juggernaut: *Hunting For Dennis*

Dennis: *Realized it was not a good idea to throw a gun into a sea of rabid-Fangirls and is searching for it in the crowd*

First Born: *Is Kicked* …

Angry Princess: *Sobbing* I'll get you Royce! One of these days!

Jackal: *Pouting*

Royce: *Throwing a tantrum*

First-Born: *Clambers back on stage looking beaten* *Scowls at Royce* Who's the tantrum throwing brat now, eh Pretty Boy?

Royce: *Growls and goes to step on First-Born. However, he gets his foot tangled in his microphone, stumbles, and topples offstage*

Crowd: *Notices that First Born is on stage…and Royce is in his place* *Squeal and manage to sound like a carnival ride coming to a stop*

Royce: *Sees crowd barreling toward him* *Sighs* This does not bode well.

Dennis: *Finds The Gun* Now to get this baby to a safe place* *Gun goes off*

Random Fangirl 3039: *Squeals* I GOT HIS BAT! *Screams as the bullet hits her*

Other Fangirls: *Rabidly attack carcass to get the bat*

Royce: *Sees his chance and scrambles away*

Dennis: *Looks at Random Fangirl # 3039* Oopsie. *Gun goes off*

Random Fangirl # 3040: *Goes down with a head wound*

Dennis: Crap! *Hurls gun as far as he can*

Dana: *Sniffle* If only my gun hadn't been turned into a cookie…

:::Gun whales Jackal in the head, bounces, and comes to a rest by Dana's feet:::

Jackal: @_@

Dana: Mwaha. *Picks Up Gun* Now…*Looks around* Oh Royce!

Royce: *Just wants to finish his song and go curl up in a corner and cry*

__

Who's irresistible?  
_All clues point straight to me._   
_It's unavoidable,_

I'm too good for you!  
_I won't get physical,  
I'll just stay spiritual._  
_It doesn't matter much;_  
_I'm still irresistible._

Dana: *Pulls Trigger* DIE! 

::: Predictably, as you all know I could never let Royce be hurt in any way, shape or form; the gun is out of ammo:::

Dana: *Vein Pops Out in forehead* I'M GONNA KILL YOU, RAFKIN!

Juggernaut: *Walks onstage* NOT IF I GET TO HIM FIRST!

Dennis: *Squeak* *Grabs Royce, and runs offstage with Dana and Juggernaut close on their heels*

First Born: *Extremely Dizzy* *Stumbles Offstage* I need a nap.

Hammer: *Snore* 

-----------------------------------------------

Well, wasn't that special?

I have a few things to say about now…and then I have to sleep. It's 4am, dadburnit!

First, is: DAMN YOU SCREAMQUEEN! DAMN YOU!

*Cough*

You got me hooked on Jack Off Jill!

Arg! After reading you're fic, I had the sudden irrational urge to download 'Strawberry Gashes'…and it escalated from there! Argitty!

Second: Why is Bologna spelled like that?

Third: Who wants to see Jackal with a puppy? C'mon, you know you want to see him with a puppy!

And Lastly: Torn Prince All.


End file.
